Shambo Says Shalom

In the past few days, I've been reading about the recent recurrence of foot and mouth disease in the UK. For those not familar, it's a contagious disease that makes those with cloven feet foam at the mouth, blister and sometimes die. In 2001, an outbreak cost the UK millions of pounds, postposted the general election and caused general madness among farmers.

Needless to say, the recent outbreak is cause for widespread alarm and fingerpointing. The British Authorities are investigating the source of the outbreak, but they should save their time because I have a conspiracy theory: it's Shambo's revenge. Who is Shambo? A dead cow, but not just any old dead cow. Shambo was a sacred Welsh bull, revered by the Hindus of Skanda Vale, near Llanpumsaint, Wales. No, really, I'm not making this up. There's a Hindu community in rural Wales and their bovine was sacrified in the name of TB.

The saga began in April when Shambo tested positive for TB. The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA) said Shambo must die. The case went to the High Court that declared Shambo could live. Then the Welsh Assembly Government appealed and the Court of Appeals upheld DEFRA's original plan to make mincemeat of Shambo.

On July 27, after a little tug-of-war with the condemned Friesen, Shambo was put to death by lethal injection. It turns out Shambo really did have TB, but I think the last word belongs to one of Skanda Vale's monks quoted in the Guardian:

"Today they broke into the temple to take away a cargo to kill but they cannot kill Shambo. They will simply add to the drama of his life cycle and he will come back again."

Coincidence? I think not. Foot and mouth diesease is just the drama of Shambo. I think this is a lesson to us all: what goes around comes around. No bull.