Why I Shouldn't Talk to People at Parties

I talked to a guy at a party last night. He reminded me of Jim Cramer from CNBC’s Mad Money, only shorter enough to make me think he was a 7/8th size version of Jim Cramer. I like Jim Cramer a lot, so it was mildly exciting for me to see someone who was almost famous in a slightly reduced size. The real Jim Cramer would have given me advice about what stocks (or equities as the grown-ups say) to sell. Sell, sell, sell! Buy, buy, buy!

However, since this guy wasn’t even a full-size version of Jim Cramer, I had to make conversation, which I don’t really enjoy.
“So what do you do?” he asked.
“Nothing really,” I elucidated.
“What, you’re retired?”

Actually, I’m 45, so even if I’d started work at age 12, that would be a little ambitious. No, I just don’t do anything, was my reply.

I felt like I held the upper hand in this conversation because in this town, if you don’t perform an alpha job, it’s like saying you’re a serial killer. My sense of being a high ranking serial killer was reinforced when I asked him what he did. I could tell he was dying to tell me.

“I work in mergers and acquisitions,” he proudly told me.
“What sort of companies? High tech?,” I played ball.
“Health care, WebMD.”
“Oh, didn’t the guy from Netscape originally set that up or something?” I considerately played along.
“No, no. I would have known that. It’s nothing to do with Jim Clark.”
“Really? I remember reading The New New Thing by Michael Lewis, and I’m pretty sure it’s all about Jim Clark getting into online health records.”
“No, it can’t be.”

At this point, since I know I’m right and the guy isn’t Jim Cramer, I pull out my iPhone and show the fake Jim Cramer that I’m right.

That’s why I’m not good at cocktail conversation.

Hello 2010, It's 2013

I just read my last post from 2010 and decided to crank up the keyboard and get in action. As you can see from the handy-dandy automatic date stamp, it's fast forward to 2013. And as it's January, I'm still basking in the pretense of new year's resolve.

This town's been all atwitter about two things lately . . . the Redskins finally winning (or at least losing less) and the Fiscal Cliff Disaster. As I've only got a few minutes, I'll cut to the chase, and explain that my particular fascination with all things tax deductible has been focused on Republican House Speaker John Boehner.

As the cliff came inching closer, it seemed Boehner became increasingly orange . . . I was taken aback watching him on CNN - clearly while Mitch McConnell and Joe Biden were scrambling to avert a taxathon on January 1, 2013, Boehner had enough time on his hands to hit the tanning salon:

. . . either that, or he's been dipping into whatever shellac Nancy Pelosi uses on her hair. On the flip side, Mitch McConnell was growing ever more like his nemesis Harry Reid:

Sometimes it makes me wonder if all we need for bipartisan cooperation in Washington is a new stylist mixed with a little love from RG3. Go 'skins!